My time in the southern part of the US brought me many treasures: a love of college basketball, the perfect sweet tea recipe, an affinity for chicken biscuits, and a few phrases that have been added into my vocabulary.  “Braggin on” is one such idiom.  It means simply to brag about, but it carries so much more than that when used correctly.  And if you ask me, it’s a phrase that parents the world over could apply more frequently.

There are so many areas of parenting in which I am lacking.  I’m not great about getting out of the house by myself with all three kids.  Call it fear of losing a child in a supermarket or laziness at having to find four pairs of matching shoes, but I just don’t do it.  I know that my kids could use more social interaction.  I know they should learn to respect other adults as authority figures.  I know they are pretty attached to me and the Man, but if it’s just me around then we’re probably hanging out at home.

Also, I’m not the greatest food parent.  Don’t be a short order cook.  Don’t spoon-feed a toddler.  Don’t watch television at meal time.  Do it, have done it, and will definitely continue to do it.  I just can’t let them be so hungry that they will finally choke down a few bites of whatever the adults are eating…or worse, they’ll go to bed hungry.  The thought of their tiny tummies rumbling is enough to send me to the pantry for the dreaded mac and cheese cups when all else fails.  Maybe it’s not the best technique in the long run, but it’s getting us all through the current sprint.

There’s certainly more, but you catch my drift.  I’m no rock star.  I’m sure you have shortcomings too.  I’m sure there are routines you wish you established, games you wish you played, or rules you wish you enforced.  But here you are, you imperfect parent, in your flawed flesh, raising little humans.

At the same time, I’m pretty spectacular at some of this parenting stuff.  I throw an awesome party!  It may not cost a fortune or be completely Pinterest-worthy, but there is always a theme that is incorporated from the invitations to the thank you notes.  I stay up until midnight and stress until my fingernails are all chewed away to make it look easy, breezy, beautiful.  The kids love it and so do I.

I do a lot of fun stuff at the house with the girl, and now the boy too!  We craft and do projects and have sensory bins and go on treasure hunts and make gifts for the family.  We own about ten drawers worth of art supplies.  We bake and cook meals and mix up magic potions.  We sing and dance a lot.  We make a big, ole mess and clean it all back up together.  As my dad says, I basically run a very small kindergarten classroom.  The kids love it and so do I.

There’s more of that good stuff too, but again, I think you’re picking up what I’m putting down.  I actually am a rock star.  And I’m sure you are too!  Believe it or not, I bet there’s someone right now wishing they could parent the way that you do.  I bet there’s someone who wishes for your energy, patience, creativity, or determination.  They see you with your little loves and think you really are doing it right.

Here’s the rub, dear reader, we focus a lot on the first part and not enough on the second.  If you mention what you’re doing well or have the audacity to accept a compliment without being dramatically modest (What?  Me?  Are you talking about ME?  Oh, why thank you, but I’m no hero.), then you’re just being conceited and boastful and terrible.  No pats on the back, ladies!  You’re just doing the job you chose to do, so move along.  Nothing to see here.

Oh, and it gets worse.  Oh yes, I’m going there.  If we know of someone else making organic lunches in Bento boxes or sewing original outfits or going out to eat with peaceful infants or running errands flawlessly with toddlers, well you know what choice words we have for her, right?  Here’s a hint, they’re not necessarily positive or uplifting.  We add to it by explaining why WE can’t do the things SHE’S doing for good reasons A, B, and C and that her doing them is causing negative effects D, E, and F on her poor kids.  And if you’re not saying it out loud, you’re probably thinking it in your head.  On the car ride home.  In bed before you fall asleep.  Why could she do what you couldn’t?  Why can’t you do more?  Will it ever be enough?  Why does it have to be so hard?

We bitch, in every sense of the word.  We complain about what we can’t do, we don’t do, we want to do more of, and we want to do less of.  We talk shit about other parents, and we rarely just take a compliment without a fight.  It’s a world of never enough right and always something wrong.

Seriously?  This is what it’s come to?

Which brings me back to “braggin on.”  I think it’s time we did a whole lot of braggin on those babies we’re raising because most of us are actually doing a pretty fantastic job.  If you cut your kid’s lunch into shapes, hooray for wanting to send her a smile in the middle of the day!  If your child can talk to anyone about anything, super job at socializing him!  If your son has great table manners, will try any food before him, and actually likes most of what you prepare, yay for winning the nutrition game!  If your daughter only watches an hour of television a day, bravo for being able to engage her in other activities!  Honestly.  I’m not being snarky or sarcastic.  Congratulations on the stellar parenting you’re doing!  As long as YOU and YOUR KIDS love the life you are sharing together, then you are doing things right, and you deserve accolades from others and yourself.  This shit is hard.  No need to make it any harder.

The girl and the boy knew their letters, numbers, basic shapes, and colors from a very young age.  The girl is already trying to read, and the boy can sing almost any song back to you after hearing it only once.  The baby is just really, really cute right now, but I know his genius is coming.  They’re good at academic stuff this early because they are brilliant AND because we spend a lot of time singing the ABC’s, reading, and talking about those topics.  They try.  I try.  And we all have a good time!  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with braggin on my babies…yet I am feeling uneasy as I write this all out.

Your success isn’t my failure, and my failure isn’t your success.  If you’re parenting well and your child is growing up well, there’s no shame in that.  How ridiculous to even have to say it!  We’ve all got strengths and weaknesses, but it’s about time we do a little bragging.  Raise up those babes.  Let them know you’re proud of what they can do and what you do with them!  And when you hear or see another mother rocking out, CHEER HER ON!  Don’t compare or explain away or diminish.  Just let the lady have her moment.  She’s earned it.  And so have you.